We are all things to all people. And although I don’t exactly agree that it HAS to be this way, I’m learning to accept the fact that it is what it is. In the middle of everything we do for every one else, it is critical that we take time for ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I’ve tried to schedule vacations, breaks, and time-off, but for me, it never seems to go just right. The day I take off just for a break ends up being the day the kids are sick or my husband has scheduled maintenance at the house. Vacations get canceled for really logical reasons sometimes, but it doesn’t change the fact that in the end, lots of us are left burned out. Since I can’t keep waiting for the perfect time, I decided to try to do a little something every single day. It hasn’t taken the place of the big break I’m due, but it’s helping me get to that big break with a lot more patience and without breaking down in the meantime. I hope these few little things help you the way they are helping me!
1.Take a bath instead of a shower. It took me years to figure this out. After years of showers (blame college), I had adjusted to shower life, and I liked it. Showers are quicker. Period. And as awesome as a hot, steamy shower is at the end of a long day, it is no comparison for the relaxation of taking a hot bath. If you really want to take it up a notch, add a bath bomb, light a candle, and turn on some relaxing music or an audio book. My evenings can get super hectic, but I’ve learned how to make time for a bath here and there. I do it at least once a week for the most part, but it didn’t start out that way. If you have kids, just understand that you won’t be able to fill the tub and get everything ready for your bath in peace. That part will still be just as chaotic as the rest of the evening. But all you really need is 10 minutes to actually relax in the tub and surely you can get them to cooperate for 10 minutes. Forget the rules and let them watch 10 minutes of tv on the day you need a bath or let them play 10 minutes of a videogame or whatever it is they want to do that we usually limit. You deserve the 10 minutes, and the kids do too! Everybody’s happy.
2. Drop the kids off at school and treat yourself to a coffee or specialty drink. This one is tricky for me because I work at the actual school with my kids. I hate dropping them off and then leaving. The truth is that most moms are rarely alone in their cars. For me, it’s even more because my kids come and go to school with me. The time alone in your car is worth doing this, even if you get the coffee and give it to someone else. That time alone is priceless. For 30 minutes, I get to listen to what I want to listen to on the radio or talk to my friends about things I can’t talk about in the kids’ presence. Or better yet, silence. I get to ride in silence. Add that to a good cup of coffee and your day is automatically getting better. Coffee has gotten expensive, but choose wisely and it’s a $5 bill well spent for your peace of mind. Sometimes you just need that. So, skip making it at home and treat yourself or somebody else. There is something super satisfying about telling the barista what you want and getting it handed to you with perfection.
3. Schedule a meeting with yourself. I figured this one out by mistake. I scheduled a legitimate zoom call and the people I was scheduled to meet with turned out to be no-shows . I sat there for 15 minutes because I didn’t want to log off and have them assume that I was a no-show. Since I was waiting for them, I just sat in my seat, drank some water, and relaxed. I couldn’t afford to get consumed with anything else for fear that they would pop up on the screen and catch me. What I didn’t know was that I was being taught how to schedule time in my day for me. I can have lots of meetings in a day sometimes, so on my hardest days, when I just need a moment of peace for me, I close my door and have the meeting I scheduled with me. It’s never very long, but it gives me the space I need to regroup and continue.
4. Sleep with your cell phone in another room. I know you’re probably questioning how this fits in with what I’m writing about, but the truth is that our society is always available. We’re always one text or call away, and for me, that, in and of itself, can be mentally exhausting when you’re already sitting on overload. We’re self-consciously available 24-hours a day. Emails and calls come to our phone, notifications and text messages come to our phone, group me…need I say more? That’s a lot. I’ve learned to embrace the power of the “Do not disturb” feature on my iPhone on a regular basis and every now and then, I leave the whole phone in the other room. Of course, this is something you must assess for yourself, your family, and your situation, but for me, it works. If a family member needs us in the middle of the night, we have a way to be reached. So we’re not totally unreachable, but we’re also not exactly available. Without my phone in the room, I also don’t have the temptation of scrolling Instagram or Facebook or seeing something that grabs my attention in the middle of the night.
5. Get up at least 30 minutes before everyone else. This one can be hard when you’re exhausted and overworked, so I’ll be the first one to tell you that I do not do this every day. I have moments in time when I do this every day. When I’m able to get up at 5 a.m., it is well worth the effort and that’s way more than 30 minutes ahead in my household. Even though, I feel that somehow someone miraculously pops up 30 minutes after I get up no matter what time it is. When I do manage to truly get up before my family, that extra time is not always enough to let me wash clothes or clean the kitchen, but I’m able to read my devotional in peace and meditate on what I need to accomplish throughout the day without the interruptions. When my family wakes up, it’s on. They need a million things and I’m so much better when I’ve already gotten my own stuff out of the way.
I really hope you try to incorporate one of these ideas every day. And more importantly, I hope it makes you feel just a little less stressed about whatever went on and whatever may be going on in your busy world. If you try one of the ideas and it worked, let me know in the comments. Or if you have more ideas that we all need to know, post those in the comments too. Balance, friend! 🙂
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