In another lifetime, we’ll all be able to have the perfect jobs, perfect homes, and perfect help to have all these kids and to manage their schedules. But for now, we’re busy, sis. Busy, busy, busy. God help you if you’re a mom like me with a very demanding full-time job. We’re still working to figure some things out, but we’re so much better than we used to be just by incorporating these few tips.
Get a homework plan. For me this means after-care at school. I know it costs more, but it’s so worth it for us. I work at my kids’ school but I’m w-o-r-k-i-n-g when I’m there. I can’t stop to do homework, so I need people who will help my kids with their homework and ensure that it’s done. I don’t expect them to take over for me completely, but I need them to at least get a good portion of the work done. At our school, the kids take a break after school for about an hour and then it’s homework time. Once the homework is done, they can play until their parents come. As much as I loved the idea of my mom coming to pick the kids up from school, it just doesn’t work every day. If you haven’t heard, grandparents are not the same parents we had, so they let the kids do whatever they want when they’re with them. They will even admit to this and they are absolutely not motivated to enforce rules or help with homework. And in all honesty, they shouldn’t have to unless that’s what they want to do. On the other hand, I cannot afford to come home from an after-school meeting at 7:30 p.m. to find three sets of homework still to be done, so after-care it is.
Create an at-home routine after school. My kids know that when we get home, homework is first. If they didn’t finish in after-school, it’s time to finish. If there’s anything I need to sign or see, it’s time to do that. A lot of times, there’s nothing at all to do other than studying. I study with my youngest child every day because he needs my help to study. The older two usually don’t need my help as much, but I still help them a few times a week. Sometimes just hearing me read something to them helps it make more sense. This whole process takes about 30-45 minutes. After that, they’re off to take baths and I’m fixing dinner. Book bags and coats get put in place for the next day and then we eat. After dinner, everyone is free to relax until it’s time to get in the bed. We don’t usually let them do video games or electronics during the week, so they can get really creative. Our rules are usually, no running, no playing sports in the house, and no doing anything that can’t be cleaned up in 5 minutes.
Use the weekend to plan for the week. Saturdays and Sundays are priceless. Somewhere between Saturday and Sunday, it helps to plan your meals for the week and go grocery shopping. I’ve never loved the grocery store, so I’ve been a “click-lister” from Day 1. Depending on how busy the weekend is, I’ll decide whether I have time to do a pick up or if I need to splurge and do a delivery. It’s a little extra but so worth it for me to not end up grocery-less going into a new week. Another thing that really helps is planning your clothes for the week. In all honesty, my mom helps with this a lot for the kids, and I admit that I do not plan my outfits by the day. I get dressed according to my mood, and I could never agree to staying on a schedule for that, but I do make sure that I have the essential pieces I need to make anything work. My mom helps me with the kids clothes a lot, so we just make sure that we have the uniform pieces we need. I’m super thankful for schools who have uniforms. It’s such a load off for the kids and the parents. (I literally dread the day that we have to plan outfits every week for school.) All in all, planning really helps you go into the week with a few things off your plate. And how many of us need just a few things off our plates? Even if you’re overworked and stressed the max on the weekend, pray for a fresh wind just long enough to do a click list and get the clothes together. It will be worth it.
Pay for the help you need. Hire people to help you do the things you don’t have time to do. I know you may feel like it’s an unnecessary expense, and you may not have the budget to do it right now. But when you’re busy, you just can’t do it all. You’ll end up paying big time with much more than money if you don’t find a way to get some help. If you can’t afford it, get an easy side hustle like selling Color Street or Plunder Design Jewelry to help you make a few extra dollars. You may not be able to pay for all the help you truly need, but prioritize it and get started. You could not have paid me to believe that we would have a housekeeper, but we do and things have gotten so much better since we hired her. At the time we decided to hire a housekeeper, I felt that I needed someone to pick up the kids from school and do homework, cook meals, and clean the house. Well, keeping the kids in after-care at the school fixed the homework problem. Subscribing to The Dinner Darling helped with the issue of cooking meals. (They are literally planned for me and I just add the items from the shopping list to my click list for the week.) My mom was already helping with the laundry, so that only left cleaning the house as the immediate need. We made the sacrifice and we did it. We hired a housekeeper, and although I love her, I still clean my house better than any housekeeper alive. So, it’s not about not being ABLE to do the job; it’s about not have the TIME to do the job. The truth is that stress causes health problems and those health problems will cost you more time, money, and memories. We missed a whole trip and lost money behind being stressed and sick. It’s not worth it. Pay for the help on the frontend and have a peace of mind.
Let go of other people’s opinions of how you run your home. It’s so easy for people who are not in your shoes to tell you what you should or should not do and how you should and should not do it. I don’t believe in making excuses for being lazy or messy, but the truth is that you’re busy. Period. Other people may not fully understand that because they do not live your life and they may have never lived a life even similar to yours. You cannot have the perfect home with a full-time job, a busy spouse, and little kids. You may be able to be the homeroom mom or have the kid who makes straight A’s all year because their parents study with them. And guess what? That is okay. All of that stuff is just not happening easily or without a cost unless it’s God-given. So, if people come in my home, they have to come understanding that this is the life I have right now. You may have a friend with a life similar to yours who does a better job in your opinion. If she’s your real friend or even a good person, just ask her how she does it all. She’ll tell you. If she tells you and it doesn’t work for you, just remember that NO ONE has your exact circumstances. Stop comparing yourself to anyone and figure out what works for Y-O-U. Take deep breaths often and do what you can. Your best will always be more than enough.
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